I am not ready for it! And it sucks! Sometimes, I hate the fact about me that I have a memory like of a goldfish. For all my life, my world just revolves around my family and my friends. Right now, I wanna talk about my friends, I think I am surrounded with lots of good buddies but I know that it is my fault why I cannot have them in some cases or eventually losses them. I have such a big dream for myself and as I keep myself busy reaching for it, I did not notice that I am keeping away myself from my friends but I salute most of them because at the end of the day, they still know me and the things that I have contributed to their lives. I admit sometimes I prefer to be alone because it is the time when I can think clearly but it does not mean that I care less to my friends all I need is that simple “Hey!” and I will be just right beside you. I believe that I can give love to my friends selflessly and it is just so sad that in reality, you met friends that only know you when they need something, “Ouch!”
Recently, I lost my phone so the phone numbers of my friends, with my best, I tried to reach out for them by posting a Facebook status containing my new number, I don’t care if strangers will send me messages what I want is to receive messages from my friends but only few friends texted me and I was like where are the others, it is not I am feeling like the VIF here (very important friend) but if strangers can text why can’t you…after all our friends are once strangers to our lives. Really, I was sad not receiving messages from my friends so I asked a friend to send a group message for me in which I stated my new phone numbers and telling them to add it on their contacts or not, it is alright to me…Then friends starting to show up, “Oh!” I am receiving messages from them but wait, they are asking for my help…”OMG!” now, they remember me. Will I help them?Of course I will, I am a good friend.
Now, I would like to talk of being in a group of friends, well I belong to a Trio when I was in college, I am girl with a girl bestfriend and a guy bestfriend (two girls and a boy). They are my best buds and I love them. A lot. I don’t have any problems with them. Last night, I heard from the radio the whines of a girl who is in this kind of group of friends and her girl bestfriend and guy best friend falling in love with each other and left her alone, she said that she is not jealous that the two ended up together it just at that situation she clearly lost two friends as those two just focus their time and affection for each other. I did not find myself in that situation but if that happens I think I am ready for it because aside from the group where I truly belong I expanded my horizons of having friends. I remember the time when my two bestfriends became ORG officers and attended lots of meeting, I found myself alone so I reached out for other people to mingle with and I did survive. Maybe because of this, I learn to live alone and look for someone to be with but now I realize how I miss my two buddies, I hate regrets but now, I regret that I wasted my chance to work with them after college as I plan to live my life on my own. They are really closer now, that sometimes I feel like we are not the same peoples anymore, which is partly true because as time goes by, we change but they changed together and I was not present when those changes happened to them. That is the part that I am not yet ready, not ready to accept the fact that if I can live on my own so they are. I hate that it is still very clear to my mind how we have been and even hate the fact that we could not be like that anymore as in this time of our lives, we already have our own bits of priorities, I have to admit the fact that we could not be together most of the time, each has work to attend to, loved one to attend to, individual life to attend to. I don’t know how I look in this blog but I just want to clear it that I am not upset with my friends. I love them with my whole heart. What makes me sad is that things change what you always have in the past could be absent in your present or future.
Honestly, I really love you guys, and wherever you’ll be, I am just here to support you all you have to do is to connect with me.
I don’t know what will be the reactions of my friends after they read this, will I loss them or will we get stronger. Just remember this, I’ll be there for you when the rain starts to fall…
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