100 Things I Want…

             My idea to write down the one hundred things I like came from Bo Sanchez’ book, “You Have the Power to Create Love”, he suggested that in one of the articles in the book. He said that at first the girl he asked to do it wrote physical stuff mostly but afterwards she was writing with things about helping others, making a difference and becoming better. And I recalled Mandy Moore’s character (Jamie Sullivan) most likely has her own “To-Do List” in the movie “A Walk to Remember” like her number one is to get married in the church where her mother grew up but my favourite among her list is her wish to be at two places at the one time. I thought that it is impossible but Shane West’s character (Landon Carter) brought her into a state line dividing Beaufort and Virginia, placed Jamie’s one foot at Virginia and the other one at Beaufort so that’s it, being at two places at one time. I don’t think I’ll come up with very creative ideas as I write my own list but during that moment I just jot down what my mind and my heart dictated. I have written this when I was in college. Here’s my list:

1.       To graduate…(I thought I already accomplished this when I graduated college in 2009 but I remember I want to finish my master’s degree in educational management  and doctor’s degree in educational leadership…c’mon!)

2.       To enrol in a photography class.

3.       To participate in a cosmetology training.

4.       To learn dress-making.

5.       To design clothes.

6.       To paint.

7.       To sculp.

8.       To try clay pottery.

9.       To create a comic book and a storybook for kids…(it’s the type wherein I will be the one to write the story and make the illustration)

10.   To write a novel…(even just one novel…I remember when we were writing essays and when one essay got longer…other will say,”That’s a novel,”in my mind, I was like, “Yeah, someday I wish I could write one)

11.   To write in a newspaper or magazine.

12.   To read my name at Reader’s Digest.

13.   To blog…(Yehey! ATM, I’m blogging J)

14.   To learn how to play guitar…(I think I like piano now.)

15.   To learn how to speak Italian.

16.   To go abroad…(to work?!)

17.   To go to London and meet Prince Harry…(This is it!)

18.   To go to Rome…(Vatican City, see the Pope).

19.   To go to Taj Mahal…(Mariel-Robin?!)

20.   To go to Jeju Island in Korea and wear the Korean traditional costume.

21.   To go to NY during winter and walk there at night wearing a big fur coat and boots.

22.   To go to Italy and eat spaghetti and pizza.

23.   To go to Africa for a mission…(and of course the wild life.)

24.   To go to Bora or Palawan.

25.   To go to a butterfly farm.

26.   To watch a Pacquiao fight live.

27.   To watch NBA live…(but it should be a Kyle Korver Game…Go Bulls!)

28.   To watch PBA live…(I was able to watch a SMB game vs. RB and a GBK game vs. SLR…happiest part: to see Danny Seigle and JC Intal personally! <3)

29.   To watch WWe live.

30.   To watch MTV Awards or Teens’ Choice Awards live.

31.   To meet the Smallville cast.

32.   To complete the CD’s of Parokya ni Edgar.

33.   To have a pair of silver stud earrings.

34.   To have a white sporty watch.

35.   To have an IPOD…(I like Nano but why not TOUCH?!…hahaha)

36.   To have a compact DVD.

37.   To have a laptop with internet connection…( Go for TABLET…hahaha)

38.   To have a digicam…( SLR?! Yeah, right!)

39.   To have the latest cellphone…(This is quite hard since phones get even better everyday but I want to have a Blackberry Curve)

40.   To hear Jay-R sings live.

41.   To have pairs of flip-flops…(Ipanema or Havs…coz right now, I just go for direct-selling…hahaha)

42.   To buy shorts…(I dunno but these days I really like faded jeans)

43.   To wear a cowboy hat or any amusing or eye-catching headgear…(just like those in Royal Wedding)

44.   To have bags…(c’mon… I’m gunna be a hypocrite if I say I don’t dream of LV and Hermes…)

45.   To have a nice jacket…(Pacqiuao Jacket at the moment)

46.   To have new sets of shoes…(OMG, who does’nt want it?)

47.   To pet dogs…(one Pomeranian, one Siberian Husky, one French Bulldog or a Pug)

48.   To have a pet fish.

49.   To plant cactuses…(or roses).

50.   To have a greenhouse.

51.   To hold a bunch of balloons.

52.   To pick apples from a tree.

53.   To pick strawberries.

54.   To drink a pearlshake.

55.   To rebond my hair…(when my hair got rebounded not I want it curled…hahaha)

56.   To color my hair with red or to color my nails black…(I think this is impossible!)

57.   To whiten my skin…(shocks! It so hard to have white skin..yet so expensive...hahaha.)

58.   To face paint.

59.   To have a henna tattoo at under my right ears going down to my neck…I want a butterfly.

60.   To put up an internet shop for my sister…(but know I want her to have a farm with three cattle(s), one mare and one stallion, four goats, one female hog, three hens, two roosters, two pairs of doves, ten quails, three rabbits, and one hamster)

61.   To put up a printing press business for my father…(or a wood business, can be.)

62.   To put up a grocery store for my mother…(this one is  consistent…EVER SINCE!)

63.   To put up a dress-making shop…(like a clothing line…hahaha.)

64.   To put up a cellphone store.

65.   To put up a coffeshop with bread and pasta…(or catering service)

66.   To be a stockholder at SMC.

67.   To be a millionaire…(Let Bruno mars be the billionaire.)

68.   To buy a jeepney.

69.   To buy a secondhand yellow Volkswagen or brand new yellow Honda Jazz.

70.   To buy a car for my parents.

71.   To buy a house and lot...(make a three-storey house out of our place)

72.   To have a library…(or to franchise BOOKSALE)

73.   To have my own SPED school…(I love this!)

74.   To supply my grandparents with vitamins…(well, the sad part is my grandmother in my father’s side went to heaven in 2009 and my grandfather in my mother’s side followed the next year…right now, I am so thankful  that my grandmother in my mother’s side is still with us.)

75.   To play long tennis with my sister.

76.   To work in a TV station.

77.   To work at 7-11.

78.   To live in an Ifugao house.

79.   To dance a traditional dance.

80.   To get 100 from a karaoke machine.

81.   To be a snow angel.

82.   To wear a fairy costume during a Halloween and do trick or treats with my young students.

83.   To help my sister enjoy college.

84.   To be a part of Kapuso Foundation…(or any NGO’s)

85.   To build a home for the aged.

86.   To teach at college.

87.   To teach in a slum or remote area…(my greatest dream is to teach in a warzone…I really feel for those civilian…)

88.   To show generosity to my uncles and aunts…( if process-oriented, check! But if project-oriented, uh-oh…)

89.   To show generosity to cousins…(same as 88)

90.   To feel independent…

91.   To find true love.

92.   To get married.

93.   To build my own happy family.

94.   To have triplets.

95.   To make a difference.

96.   To influence others.

97.   To become better.

98.   To be contented.

99.   To be happy.

100.  To live life to the fullest.

(I know…I am ambitious…I am materialistic…I am unrealistic…but I guess…this is what usually happens when you are dreaming…No walls, No boundaries, No instant result unless you work hard for it! And as  Vice Ganda says, “A dream without action is a wish!”)

The Guy At The Cemetery

“Sa isip ko'y yakap ka pa. Sa isip ko'y walang iba. Mananatiling ikaw ang kapiling. Kahit sa isip ko lang lamang. Mananatiling ikaw ang kapiling. Kahit sa isip ko lang lamang.”

                The song is not yet over but Kylie turned off her car radio. She is already in her destination. Manila Memorial Park. The All Saints’ Day is not yet to come til’ two weeks from now but here she is, earlier than other patrons, those people who once in their lives lost a very special love. 

                Almost two years have passed yet the pain still lingers on her every moment. She was 18 and in love. He was 18 and very much in love with her as well, he’s Klayton. Klayton was Kylie’s first boyfriend and most of the time she considered him as her last as well, the man she’s to marry but with him she experienced her first heartbreak. He broke her heart by leaving her and going to heaven. He was diagnosed with leukemia when he was 16 and no matter how he tried to respond to the treatment for his Kylie, he was not able to make it.

                “How are you Klay? Don’t you laugh at me and say, ‘OHMIGOD! This girl is really crazy in love with me and so stupid as well for still coming for me’, Baby, I’m not gonna deny that. I know you tell me to move on but how can I if there seems to be nobody to match you.” Kylie cried. And when I say cried, she’s on tears. 

                “Excuse me?! Can you please be quiet and consider that you are not just the person right here?” Kylie was startled to see an arrogant yet so handsome guy talking to him. “Excuse me as well but this is a cemetery and it is not impossible to see someone crying here,” she answered with sarcasm. “Cemetery symbolizes serenity, silence, peacefulness,” he narrated. “Tranquillity, quietness, are you gonna tell me all the synonyms for being quiet?” Kylie asked in a mock tone again. “Exactly, being quiet! I am asking you to be quiet. I think you can talk with your mind. I am just scared that with you so loud, the person in that grave will stand up and say, “Shut up! Didn’t you know what R.I.P stands for?” now, he was the one in a mocking tone. “That wouldn’t happen. First, he’s too good to say that. Second, the tombstone was placed very well, he can’t escape. Third, if that is really possible, maybe I was not here again crying for him or if really crying hard will bring him back to me then I’ll cry til’ the last drop of my tears,” and she cried harder not to irritate him but a real painful cry just like a young girl craves for his most favorite doll. “Hey! I just told you to be quiet. So, who is Klayton?” he asked. “My boyfriend,” she replied. “Maybe you really love this guy,” he commented. “He’s the best!” she replied back.

                “You know it’s early to visit the cemetery. Who did you come for?” Kylie asked. “So it’s now my time to answer queries?” he teased. “Oh! You don’t have to,” she said. He smiled then frowns, “My girlfriend.” “We are here for the same reason. Do you really come here during this time of the year? Like I am wondering that we also have the same reason for coming earlier than it should be, I avoid masses.” she said with a small smile. “Actually, I am here everyday!” he said seriously. “You do?!” she was shocked. She thought she’s the perfect epitome for a person-who-cannot-move-on-over-the-death-of-his-beloved-one but how can you describe this guy. He is here everyday. Maybe he really loves this girl. “Don’t you have any work that you have time to be here?” she was curios. “I am not bragging about my family but my parents take charge of it to have money that will suffice for more than a hundred years even if we did not work,” he said sadly. “So economical obligation? Check! Speaking of your family, what do they tell you when you always come here?” her mother used to beg her to move on whenever she does and she is expecting it to happen again when she found out that she visited Klay again. “They don’t care. Never did,” his pain was seen. And she did not ask for more. “I’m Kylie!” she uttered. “Guess, I have figured that one. So I also have to tell mine?” he teased. She didn’t react. “I’m Kirk!” and gave her his first genuine smile. Did she say he is handsome?

                She just found herself keeping on coming back at that cemetery as she turned off both her car engine and radio which was playing the same song over and over again. That song! It was Klay’s favourite song and she kept on singing it  to him during his remaining days. Is she still coming here for Klay or for Kirk? Is she in love with the stranger at the cemetery?

                Yes, she is because she is looking for him and it disappoints her to think that he wouldn’t show up. From Klay’s grave, she saw an aged yet beautiful lady at Kirk’s girlfriend’s grave. “Good day madam! Are you Kendra’s mom?” she asked politely. “Yes! Are you her friend?” she asked back. “No madam. I just met her boyfriend. He comes everyday,” she said proudly. “How dare him! Visiting my daughter?! Knowing he’s the one who killed her,” she said fiercely. “Do you know where he lives? I want to see him,” she said calmly but there’s a sense of anger. 

                She wants Kirk to defend himself with this woman. She knows how Kirk loves Kendra. Kirk loves Kendra?! Why is it this hard for her? Looking at the mellowed woman, at that age, she is so beautiful. Did Kendra look like her mom? God, she must have been very beautiful. Kirk killed her? A lie. Kirk can’t do that but in few moments she will find the real story behind all of these.

                What a beautiful house! Kirk was right. They are rich, very rich. “Ding-dong!” What would Kirk tell her to see her in his house and with his late girlfriend’s angry mom? She will know it as she will also know the truth about Kendra’s death. 

                Instead of a house helper, a seasoned yet very gorgeous woman opened the gate before them. From her looks, she probably Kirk’s mom. And she was right. These two women know each other. “Please tell you son to stop visiting my daughter’s grave as a respect to her. Isn’t it enough that he killed her?” Kendra’s mom bellowed. “I dunno what you’re talking. That is impossible. No, it can’t be”, Kirk’s mom replied cluelessly. “Come on! Show him to me. This girl right here says she always sees him there,” she was shouting. Kirk’s mom looked at me and she was puzzled. “You saw him at the cemetery?” she asked. Kylie nodded. “For several times?” she asked again. Kylie nodded again. “Alright! I’ll bring you to him,” she said coldly.

                Kylie was confused. They are back at the cemetery. She asked, “What are we doing here madam?” “You said you saw Kirk here?” Kirk’s mom asked emotionlessly. She nodded again. They were standing near Kendra’s grave. Kirk’s mom’s soft hands removed dried leaves and pull weeds and there Kylie saw another gravestone. It said Kirk Kara, (1990-2010). She laughed silently that’s ridiculously. She’s crazy in some ways but she’s not insane. She knew what she saw, heard, felt and experienced.

                “When I have found out about the vehicular accident involving Kirk, I was really concerned not with my son’s situation but the negativity it will bring to our business. From what I learned one of the people along for the ride was DOA and my son is in the ER. On my way in that room, I was thinking of the appropriate punishment for this unforgivable behaviour but when I saw him in that bed, scathed, barely breathing, dying, I also felt like dying. What kind of mother am I? Am I gonna give him back to God this way?” she was crying. “I did not value his life. I prayed to God and asked for extended life. He was so good to give me a chance but it’s Kirk who gave up. He did not eat, respond to treatment, talk, he was there but not there. Three months, my only time to be a real mom to him and he left me. He asked me to lay his body near Kendra’s. I am sorry Mrs. Kruz but I guessed my Kirk already made up for all his mistakes to Kendra and to your family,” the tears are flowing continuously. 

                “When I heard that Kirk was visiting Kendra almost everyday, I truly touched by the act. It is just I really want to see him again since I did not allow him coming to Kendra’s wake. I am sorry for that,” Mrs. Kruz showed her compassion. 

                “I did not ask you to believe me but I’m telling no lies,” Kylie uttered. Both women looked at her and from the way they looked, they believed her. They were asking her to go but she refused and stayed. “Hey Kirk! What are you a ghost or an angel?” she was fighting the urge to cry but she failed. “You know what, I am in love with you. Heck, probably you know that all along. I am such a fool falling with a stranger without thorough scrutiny about him. But what would be the right question? Are you alive?” she laughed. “That will freak me out. Yeah right, it’s a good thing that I did not ask,” she is now starting to digest this unbelievable experience. “I hope your happy now dearest Kirk. Just wait for my next visit. Goodbye Kirk!” she expressed.

                Kylie turned on her car engine then her radio and it sings, “Sa isip ko'y yakap ka pa. Sa isip ko'y walang iba. Mananatiling ikaw ang kapiling. Kahit sa isip ko lang lamang. Mananatiling ikaw ang kapiling. Kahit sa isip ko lang lamang.”

(The characters and events portrayed in this blog post are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the blogger.
P.S. 
The song that was incorporated in this post is "Sa Isip Ko" by Agot Isidro. It's not a mourning song , actually it is a break-up song. Well, I just think that when you break up with someone it is also like losing him as well in your life. To hear the song, please click the link below:
Sa Isip Ko - Agot Isidro )

  

               

Buy Love for P100.00

We often hear, “Money can’t buy love,” but sometimes I beg to disagree and fictionally, somebody agrees with me. There’s this book entitled “Miss Menace”, a story of a wealthy socialite who wanted to be a public teacher. First, her goal is just to prove something to her former boyfriend that she can do a very serious task and differently from the things she used to do like hosting a social party, organizing social events, leading a social project and everything social. (Like I said she’s a socialite.) Then as she goes on, she realized that she was doing her best not just to prove herself anymore but because of her genuine love for her students especially those neglected ones. She put a club (sort of a glee club) where students without friends can find friends but during their first meeting, only three people came. One of her co-teachers suggested that if she wanted more members, bribe the kids. And she did, promised the prospect members some stuff if they will join in the club and the students did join but in the process, the students continued to become active members of the club not just because there might be giveaways but because they now have their bunch of friends. The teacher could not help but say, “My money and I are making a difference.”

Personally, I can attest to this as a teacher, I am not rich but if I have money I love to buy stuff that I can give to my students as rewards when they perform very well. I don’t care if I lose money buying materials and gifts to be able to have a good party with my students that will make them happy. It is just for me, our moments together would not be that colourful if I did not buy some face-painting tools, would not taste the sweetness of winning a game if I did not buy prizes to be given away and would not feel that valued If I did not exert my effort and my budget to give them a thing that will make them glad. I am not saying that it should always be this way but for me, this is what I called generosity and to tell you the smiles, the laughs and the thanks from my students are enough for me to say, “We’re now even kids!”

As a person, I also experienced this scenario but this time, I was the receiver. It was Christmas time, the time of giving. I think I am old enough to receive gifts from my beloved ones even cash. It is not because I am shy but because I believe that during that time I already know that my father is my Santa Claus. But one of my uncle insisted that I accept his one hundred peso bill and I refused hard. I cried something like “No, I am a grown-up now,” but still he said “I know it is not a big amount but I think enough to buy something that will make you smile even for a while.” For me, I was like this man who has ten kids to support is giving me his hundred pesos because he wanted me to be happy even for a while. He said that it is a small amount for me but if you have a big family, a hundred pesos is already a big amount to be added in the family’s budget but instead of doing that he was giving me a part of their belongings. Yes, a hundred peso bill might not be that huge to buy the things I really like (actually it is the least amount I received daily when I was in college as my allowance) but during those moments, a hundred pesos seemed to be a million to me because I was able to buy something that I cannot buy in any boutique, any shop or any store, it is the love of each and every member of my family for me. And now I can say that a person true wealth is his family.

“I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford, Identity Crisis"

I know...

(This was a story I have written as a seatwork in my TECHNICAL WRITING CLASS during college. Like there were at least three to five phrases on the board and we need to pick one and use it in our story. From the given options, I chose “a blood stain in her uniform”. Let’s see how I was able to incorporate it in my story.)

                It was one of those rainy days, Jamie was listening to the radio. “Kung ang lahat ay may katapusan, itong paglalakbay ay makakarating din sa paroroonan at sa iyong paglisan ang tanging pabaon ko ay pag-ibig.” “That was a good song,” Jenny admired. “Yeah, actually it is my favourite song,” Jamie added. “What?! I am your bestfriend yet I don’t know it,” Jenny exclaimed. “It’s no big deal!” Jamie yelled back. “What is my favourite song?” Jenny asked. “Together Again by Janet Jackson,” Jamie answered confidently. “See?!” Jenny bellowed. “See what?!” Jamie shouted. “You knew my favourite song and me, I don’t know yours. Alright, here is a deal. If you sing that song unconsciously and it rains something bad will happen to me,” Jenny offered. “Like the school service left you, you forgot your umbrella and it is raining, you will go home wet, huh?!” Jamie teased. “I am serious!” Jenny cried out. “No! My bestfriend I don’t care about that stupid deal,” Jamie replied and hugged her bestfriend.

                Jamie and Jenny are best of friends. They grew up together. They study at the same school. They enjoy doing the same things. Jamie’s favourites are Jenny’s favourites. They did not expect that they will also fall in love with the same guy, John. He is Jamie’s childhood sweetheart. She met him before she met Jenny. John’s family migrated to USA when he was a kid and he came back. Jamie still loves him but she needed to admit the fact that she will always be his little sister.

                John was surprised to see Jamie, the girl she considers as his baby sister. The title is not appropriate for her anymore. She is already a lady, a beautiful lady. The unfinished friendship between them continues. John and Jamie got even closer, doing the things they were not able to do when John left for USA. Jenny, on the other hand was having a hard time. She feels that she is losing her bestfriend and the chance to be with the guy who always visits her in her dreams and John always ignores her.

                Jenny’s world almost fell apart when she saw from afar, her bestfriend and her dream guy hugging each other tight. She found no place so she left. When she was gone, John left too and Jamie found herself alone and unloved for John confessed to her that he really likes Jenny and she is the perfect bridge. Crying, the skies cry too as she sings her favourite song. “Do I have a bad singing voice and it rains?” she laughed.

                Then she remembered the deal and she cried even more, trying to find the reason for her flowing tears. “I don’t care if I lose my man but not my bestfriend,” she was not thinking clearly. She tried to send a message about it to Jenny. Her bestfriend’s reply was, “I know.” She was confused. Her mind was cloudy but awakened by shouting voices near by.

                An accident killed Jenny, she was hit by a car. She was lying on the ground with her cellphone on her left hand. Jamie’s attention was caught with a message on Jenny’s phone, the recipient, she.  The big BUT, the message on Jenny’s phone is complete as it said, “I know you will be happy with John.” Jamie hugged her bestfriend so tight. The ambulance came and picked up Jenny’s body. Jamie was alone again in the rain, nothing on her but A BLOOD STAIN IN HER UNIFORM.

(My prof. commented on it with something like, “Naku naman! How tragic?! Where did you get this story?” I don’t know if that is a compliment or not as in I have came up with a good story but does not sound like my own.)

Losing my Teaching Job during the World Teachers' Day

Firstly, that was kind of long for a title. (laughs) It was October 5, 2010, the world was celebrating the teachers' day. No matter where you are in the map or what timezone you are in, if you are a teacher, this day was designed for you and for me.

I was in my 22 years of existence (sounds like Venus Raj huh?) and I am a teacher. Teaching in a private SPED school in the middle of the school year...with approximately ten students per day...and away from home.

I always knew that I am physically competent so mentally as I teach but I guessed I  have to admit that EMOTIONALLY I am not. Everytime I went back to our boarding house from school I always wished to see my mother asking me, "How's your day?" and my father sharing his cup of coffee with me but then how could it be if I am miles away from them. I believed that no matter how hard my day was or  how much I wore myself out just the thought that at the end of the day I'll be in the most comforting arms of my family then no work will be hard for me but I was having a hard time not with what teaching requires me but TEACHING AWAY FROM MY FAMILY.

I honestly wanted to quit as soon as the time permits but I did not want to leave my students without somebody to teach, love, show care, protect, help, guide (and more positive verbs a teacher performs) them. It's between PROFESSIONAL RESPONSIBILITY and PERSONAL NEEDS. Which one should I go?

I chose to be the professional one but personally I was in pieces. My emotions did affect my teaching. I was being unfair to my students as in I am not in my 100% teaching stance. My students deserved someone better. With me, like that, I definitely did not worth to have them. I did think that I am not doing any right thing so I talked to the school. I made the issue of my leaving knowledgeable to them. I wished to leave by December so that Christmas vacation will be a good time to look for a replacement, the more competent teacher at the moment.

Everything was right then but things should really need to be right than right (right?). So the school where I was teaching decided that there's no difference between leaving by October and leaving by December and there I go, October 5, 2010 was my last day in that school. Happy Teachers' Day!

  

 I got what I want, I'll be with my family soon but I was sad. I have to leave my students soon as well. It was alright to both feel glad and sad at the same time right?

When I got home, my family welcomed me back with so much love. They still go after what I think best for me. It was October 6, 2010 and it was official, I am unemployed (Tambay!!!). I consider myself unemployed and not jobless because TEACHING IS NOT A JOB...IT IS A PROFESSION. Yes, I lost my teaching job but not my teaching career that is within me and I am capable of giving it at its best when I am at my best as well and now that I am already with my family,  I forgot when was the last time I was this motivated to TEACH.

But things are not that easy anymore. I have to deal with my sister's joke that at this moment I belong to the Philippines' PABIGAT SA LIPUNAN. It was just a joke. Funny for some, or very irritating, or for me, a bit hurtful but since I am already back with my happy family I got to deal with it easily. I came up with a response something like, "Wait til' I get hired again. You won't get even a candy on my first salary but...a chocolate bar can be," then you'll hear the laughs and you will smile and say, "Thanks God, I'm HOME."